 Im sitting here in shock I know, having taken something or several somethings to try to get under control, I feel as though I have not waken yet and am having a bad dream, I have never had a baby sans Tabitha and fish to pass away in the night, however this morning I woke after a terrible night of not sleeping well, and babies on my head bless their hearts and Liza having come into the room sometime in the night as she did often to spet on me and kiss my face when I stop breathing from the sleep apnea, as she saved me many a time and was very persistant in licking my face until I woke up and laid with me, last night upon going to bed all the cats except Sama were on the bed, I said now everyone needs to find a spot and lay down and go to sleep. I had no idea....I had no idea...several times Leah and Liza were next to me laying on me and I know Liza got up and was standing next to me kissing my face I woke enough to know that, thinking as usual she was there to help me and would lay with me.....I HAD NO IDEA that she needed me...........maybe at that time...she had played that morning, run around silly, ate a big pile of temptations treats, ate dinner, laid in her spot in the room on the floor she liked to lay in there and sometimes on my lap...................I had no idea, that when I woke this morning getting up and going about the same routine I do, take the dog out, come in give medicines, fix dog breakfast, fix the cats canned food that my baby Liza was not at the table crying and talking for breakfast...I had no idea that when I went to look in her spot she laid, that I would immediately go into shock,and looked at her laying there like she was asleep except that her eyes were open...I thought well Liza wake up and picked her up thinking maybe she was chilled, even though I had the heat on she was thin, she had had medical issues for a long time some with her hyper thyroid that refused medication, over and over, a heart murmur and a few other issues we tired so hard to get fixed, I know she really did not like going to the vets and being poked on, we did well though all of us, she ate, played. loved mommy, but she never let me know that she in that last moment needed me, or I didnt realize it...some may say she came to kiss me goodbye......I though it was for me, I should have woken up to help her....to help her, or be with her..I HAD NO IDEA....that she would go t sleep and not wake up again...I thought she was sleeping with me...I was sure of it........she must have gotten down when I fell back to sleep, I wish I has known..I should have been with her.....I have been with her and her 2 sisters since they were 3 weeks old.........I am my dog found them thrown into a ditch of water in freezing Charleston SC weather, discarded and hand fed them and loved them for over 19 years...She and her 2 sisters turned 19 in Oct.....she was today 19 years and 2 months old....her sisters will miss her her brothers will miss her..and my heart is broken broken broken...........It had been 4 hours now since I have found her...She is wrapped in a softie......with my tears........I want to know she knows how much I love her!!!!! I lost my baby Bailey in Oct , now I have lost my precious Liza Belle....it happens that way doesn't it.......you know when one goes a pattern follows and you want to stop time.........
I have never felt so guilty, yes I have but in different ways for my babies when they have passed..Times when they were in the hospital where they should have been cared for and they passed away alone without me there..I thought I would never and have not gotten over those times few but too many still, and when I have had to request a passing to take away the pain or suffering, I was there with them, but though Liza had issues with her health I HAD NO IDEA, that after the day, when she came to bed last night that I should have scooped her up and held on.....instead of just saying I love you all now time to go to sleep. that that is what she would do, and I did not get up with her when she came to me and stepped on me and licked my face, because she had done that so often, every night every morning, I had no idea...and now I cant help her.......she is gone and I did not get to hold her and tell her how much I love her and thank her for spending 19 years with me....I may not want to sleep again I may not want to let any of my babies out of my sight, and I know nothing I am doing is more important than being with them and holding them...She made a place in my lap when she wanted to be with me, she drooled when I held her and rubbed her belly...she made a place in my heart from day one and stayed there forever. She was funny when like yesterday morning she would run silly all through the house yeowing like garfield...I had no idea she would leave me without my knowing......I have prayed her holy light angel was and is with her...I pray for her and all of us...I pray I will stop crying so I dont make the others worried. They know...and I know...I have many babies getting older...Liza Belles sisters are both 19 and 2 months this day..her other sister is 18 and 2 months, her brothers are younger, and her dog sibling is over 14 years.......I know none will stay with me in their beautiful furry form forever but they will be in my heart forever, in my thoughts forever, and at peace I pray I pray I pray..............I had no idea...the shock and pain of finding my baby Liza asleep in her spot all alone, never to wake up again.....I may never get over this....But I pray. I LOVE YOU LIZA BELLE, just wanted you to know...
Liza Belle Simpson Oct 5, 1990- Dec 6, 2009
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Im sitting here in shock I know, having taken something or several somethings to try to get under control, I feel as though I have not waken yet and am having a bad dream, I have never had a baby sans Tabitha and fish to pass away in the night, however this morning I woke after a terrible night of not sleeping well, and babies on my head bless their hearts and Liza having come into the room sometime in the night as she did often to spet on me and kiss my face when I stop breathing from the sleep apnea, as she saved me many a time and was very persistant in licking my face until I woke up and laid with me, last night upon going to bed all the cats except Sama were on the bed, I said now everyone needs to find a spot and lay down and go to sleep. I had no idea....I had no idea...several times Leah and Liza were next to me laying on me and I know Liza got up and was standing next to me kissing my face I woke enough to know that, thinking as usual she was there to help me and would lay with me.....I HAD NO IDEA that she needed me...........maybe at that time...she had played that morning, run around silly, ate a big pile of temptations treats, ate dinner, laid in her spot in the room on the floor she liked to lay in there and sometimes on my lap...................I had no idea, that when I woke this morning getting up and going about the same routine I do, take the dog out, come in give medicines, fix dog breakfast, fix the cats canned food that my baby Liza was not at the table crying and talking for breakfast...I had no idea that when I went to look in her spot she laid, that I would immediately go into shock,and looked at her laying there like she was asleep except that her eyes were open...I thought well Liza wake up and picked her up thinking maybe she was chilled, even though I had the heat on she was thin, she had had medical issues for a long time some with her hyper thyroid that refused medication, over and over, a heart murmur and a few other issues we tired so hard to get fixed, I know she really did not like going to the vets and being poked on, we did well though all of us, she ate, played. loved mommy, but she never let me know that she in that last moment needed me, or I didnt realize it...some may say she came to kiss me goodbye......I though it was for me, I should have woken up to help her....to help her, or be with her..I HAD NO IDEA....that she would go t sleep and not wake up again...I thought she was sleeping with me...I was sure of it........she must have gotten down when I fell back to sleep, I wish I has known..I should have been with her.....I have been with her and her 2 sisters since they were 3 weeks old.........I am my dog found them thrown into a ditch of water in freezing Charleston SC weather, discarded and hand fed them and loved them for over 19 years...She and her 2 sisters turned 19 in Oct.....she was today 19 years and 2 months old....her sisters will miss her her brothers will miss her..and my heart is broken broken broken...........It had been 4 hours now since I have found her...She is wrapped in a softie......with my tears........I want to know she knows how much I love her!!!!! I lost my baby Bailey in Oct , now I have lost my precious Liza Belle....it happens that way doesn't it.......you know when one goes a pattern follows and you want to stop time.........
I have never felt so guilty, yes I have but in different ways for my babies when they have passed..Times when they were in the hospital where they should have been cared for and they passed away alone without me there..I thought I would never and have not gotten over those times few but too many still, and when I have had to request a passing to take away the pain or suffering, I was there with them, but though Liza had issues with her health I HAD NO IDEA, that after the day, when she came to bed last night that I should have scooped her up and held on.....instead of just saying I love you all now time to go to sleep. that that is what she would do, and I did not get up with her when she came to me and stepped on me and licked my face, because she had done that so often, every night every morning, I had no idea...and now I cant help her.......she is gone and I did not get to hold her and tell her how much I love her and thank her for spending 19 years with me....I may not want to sleep again I may not want to let any of my babies out of my sight, and I know nothing I am doing is more important than being with them and holding them...She made a place in my lap when she wanted to be with me, she drooled when I held her and rubbed her belly...she made a place in my heart from day one and stayed there forever. She was funny when like yesterday morning she would run silly all through the house yeowing like garfield...I had no idea she would leave me without my knowing......I have prayed her holy light angel was and is with her...I pray for her and all of us...I pray I will stop crying so I dont make the others worried. They know...and I know...I have many babies getting older...Liza Belles sisters are both 19 and 2 months this day..her other sister is 18 and 2 months, her brothers are younger, and her dog sibling is over 14 years.......I know none will stay with me in their beautiful furry form forever but they will be in my heart forever, in my thoughts forever, and at peace I pray I pray I pray..............I had no idea...the shock and pain of finding my baby Liza asleep in her spot all alone, never to wake up again.....I may never get over this....But I pray. I LOVE YOU LIZA BELLE, just wanted you to know...
Liza Belle Simpson Oct 5, 1990- Dec 6, 2009
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